What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
