I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
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Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
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Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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