Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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