i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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