I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
