Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
