Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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