Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
