Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Floor bacon is actually really good
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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