I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
