We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
