hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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