It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
