It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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