What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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