I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize