i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
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I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
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I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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