Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
