Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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