Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
