he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Every concussion has its silver lining
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
