So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
