Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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