I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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