Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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