I'm eating all of the evidence.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
