it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
