my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
please don't ironically join a cult
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