I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Everything about him screamed your future.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
