girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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