where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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