What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
