I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
