I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
