Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
