one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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