You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
