I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i believe in u and ur pee
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
