Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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