It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
