I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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