I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
