he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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