hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
