Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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