Kiss
Puke
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Randomize