Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
