Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
