I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
