I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
i out mim tonsoeep
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