It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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