FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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