Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
