You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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