i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Randomize
