margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
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