dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
