Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm bleeding and have questions
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