help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
