you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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